Debt is a tough enough burden to carry and deal with on your own. It’s an even bigger burden when you’ve fallen in love with someone and haven’t revealed your debt problems to them yet. Talking to a new romantic partner about your debt can be very embarrassing, shameful, and awkward.
Many people hold off on talking to new romantic partners about their debt problems because they are worried that it will ruin their relationship. And they’re not without reason. Cosmopolitan Magazine has recently run an article showing that their readers place good money management skills over attractiveness when it comes to selecting a new partner. That’s right, most people would rather you be money savvy than super sexy when it comes to dating.
But luckily there is a right way and a wrong way to talk about debt with your new romantic partner. Talking about it the wrong way – or not even bringing it up at all – will only lead to trouble. Talking about it the right way will impress your partner, cause them to sympathize with you, and hopefully seal the deal for the long run.
The tips discussed below will help you divulge your little debt secret to a new partner.
It is important that you own up to your debt problem and take control of it before revealing it to your romantic partner. You should figure out how much you owe and to whom, and then work out a plan to get out of debt. Our best ways to get out of debt fast post will be a big help.
In addition to seeking out a debt management program like debt consolidation or debt settlement, you should also look at how you can control your debt problem yourself. Ask yourself if the problem is chronic. Will it happen again? Do you have poor money management skills in general? Or was your debt problem an accident, an emergency?
If it was the former, if it was because you were managing your money poorly, figure out how you can prevent it from happening in the future. Try out credit counseling to learn how you can better manage your finances.
While doing all of this you should set up a solid budget plan. A budget plan can help you track your expenses and figure out where your monthly debt payments fit in. If you are making your monthly debt payments on time, and you let your partner know this, things will go much more smoothly.
Just Talk to Them
When you are trying to talk to your romantic partner about debt, it’s best to just do it. Do it as soon as possible. Do it while your relationship is still new. If you’re serious about your relationship (and if you aren’t, you might not need to divulge your secret anyways), then the longer you wait, the tougher it is going to get to talk.
Tell your partner that you need to talk to them about something serious. Arrange a time and a place where you can talk in private and without being interrupted. Tell them about your debt problem, explaining why it happened, why it won’t happen again, and what you are doing to fix it. Be completely honest and don’t try to hide anything. Above all, let them know that you are responsible for taking care of it.
Feel Your Way Through the Aftermath
Oftentimes, when revealing something new and serious to a romantic partner, the aftermath of telling them can be the trickiest thing to get through. This is certainly true when it comes to talking about debt.
Everybody will react differently after you tell them about your debt and possible debt settlement. Some people might find it completely not alright and will break the relationship off. However, most people, especially if you took responsibility for the problem and showed them that you had a solid plan for fixing it, will give you the chance to prove it. They’ll probably watch you closely to make sure you’re meeting payments but will likely take you back with open arms.
Your best bet is to give your partner space until they can reach a decision on your own. This is painful but necessary.
Talking about debt with your partner can be difficult. It is even more difficult if you have been dating for a long time and are already far along in a relationship. Your best bet is to just not put it off any longer and get it over with.